10.15.2009

Green or Yellow mucus?

…Is what my modern ‘medicine woman’ asked me over Facebook. I'd just returned from a trip to NY where I fell ill. My mom, concerned about my lingering cold, wanted to send me to a doctor straight away. There’s just one complication… I've been ineligible to receive benefits from my mom’s employer provided health insurance coverage since February 18, 2008 – the day I turned 23. I explained that it was “mostly yellow and clear.” And she replied “Green means infection virus contagious, yellow is a cold, and clear is either allergies or jus and imbalance of some sort - mostly your system doing what it needs to cleanse. Get lots of sleep and clear hot fluids. Stay away from dairy it increases mucus!”

She sent over B-complex, and D vitamins, along with some Triphala - to help clean the colon. She says when you get sick, the bug gets stuck in your colon - and subsequently in your blood which contributes to what helps keeps us sick for longer. I spent the weekend close to home drinking tea, having soup, taking my vitamins and lots of water. By Monday I was still a little bit congested, but I've been feeling a whole lot better and eating more thoughtfully since -- doing a little bit more physical activity (basketball on Tuesday nights after my internship), and trying to consume LOTS of water.

As for not having health insurance because I'm 24 -- it’s an inconvenience for sure, especially for someone who, until recently, didn’t know what it meant to live without coverage. Still, I count my blessings. In this economy, I'm lucky to even have a job, much less one that could also offer me some kind of health insurance. But to be honest, for better or for worse, the loss of the safety net has forced me to think about my "healthcare" differently. I have had to learn to stop acting as I am in some way defenseless against my own body. And I am beginning to realize that my well being is predicated on more than having a defense alone.

"Health Care" Reform vs. "Health Insurance" Reform

"70% of Health Costs Today Are From
Preventable Chronic Diseases"
H/T to James Hodges for putting this
on his blog at Youth Noise.
~
[More Videos @ StaySmartStayHealthy.com]

While largely billed as a Health Care Reform program, what our President and our nation's pundits have been clamoring about is really health insurance reform. It is important that we recognized the difference. It isn't a bill that is going to magically revamp all health care services, but it will begin to put the reins on the people who play middle[wo]men between health care providers and us, the would-be patients.

This bill has been attached to big ticket issues like our economy and job stimulation because at the root of it all our health care system is a business - with real profits and real losses. And under the existing system, insurance companies have a great deal of control on how that business operates (or doesn't) to serve the needs of patients. For example, while this video explains the benefits of health insurance - pay-in and the pool levels costs, I tend to agree with Nick Lee:

"When you have companies that are making $37.8 billion dollars in “total revenue” and there are still millions of people going without health insurance because they can’t afford it then there’s seriously something wrong."

In short, this is about money, not people, and would explain why much of what we hear in policy disputes seem externalized - focused on who gives care, how healthcare is financed, and how to enable more people to access financing. There's no doubt, the system is broken, but it has been so for a little while now.

Who Knew?!

Until recently, people who've never been without access have been none the wiser. Growing up I had the luxury of being able to get up and go see a doctor whenever my mother felt it was necessary. The inability to do so now was certainly an odd change of pace, but being sick, while at home, forced me to actually consider my lack of access, and what that means.

In the most basic sense, it means that I am not wealthy enough to be afford-ably cared for. For most people, this lack of health insurance is about a low supply of funds. We are facing a recession, and when you've got immediate needs anything "extra" is reduced to a basic economic question: Do the benefits outweigh the costs? Ultimately I decided that they didn't. I chose to forgo what would have been an out of pocket appointment with a doctor. It seemed like just a cold - not at all worth the unreasonable bill that would come from the five minutes of face time with a doctor I dont know. And let's not forget the cost of a whatever s/he would prescribe or suggest from over the counter. On the same token, am I really in an informed position to decide? I don't have a clue how much a regular doctor's visit would cost.

We Take Care of illnesss But What do we do to promote health?

I am grateful for these efforts, and proud of President Obama for igniting the fire on this very important issue. That our current health care economy need be financed by insurance primarily (or exclusively) should have raised a red flag for more than just a few people and long before the recent past. But I've discovered we exist in what I call it "band-aid culture." It not only undergirds the treatment we give ourselves, and the treatment we receive from professionals, but also the larger system these professionals belong to, and the area in which I seek the most ‘reform.’ We treat the signals that our body gives us when it is finally in distress. We patch things up so that they work sufficiently, even if they don't work to their full capacity. But that system does not ask us to reflect on the behaviors we’ve been engaging in that actually caused our bodies to shut down in the first place.

Most commentary I've read on healthcare primarily stress the importance of access of all people to this system, but few really even examine 1. their own agency in it and 2. whether or not the care they get in that system is worth the access. That’s one tangible I’d like see to come from this reform - a referendum of some sort around the 'true costs' of the care we receive. A reform that only restructures the method of payment for health services, without analyzing the costs themselves seems to miss the point. I'm not opposed to a healthcare exchange, I like the prospect of Health Savings Accounts (HSAs). And I wish I could say that wouldn’t mind paying for a minor visit like this, outright perhaps from my HSA. I’d do just as much to go to a concert or visit an amusement park. But I’d also be more inclined to do so at amusement park prices!

Further, I worry that any 'real' reform will be lost on a nation of over-consumers hell bent on doing asthey see fit, no matter the known consequences. So many take for granted their own responsibility to themselves to be healthy, let alone any doctor's responsibility to serve you, regardless of your income, if you have a medical emergency.

I empathize with folk who are without because of economic difficulties. I also don't hear much from able bodied folks on what each person is doing to better care for themselves, even while they are without insurance. So, while I find fault with our officials for stumbling with this for so long, I must also express that our collective need to "get-it-together" should also be on the radar. I personally would like to see a reform proposal that extends beyond the insurance model. I envision a program would prioritize a collective effort to encourage and enhance the ability of private citizens to better care for themselves – something akin to what we oft refer to as “preventative care.” I feel like promoting good health rather than just fixing people up, would reduce our reliance on an insurance heavy system in the first place.

Reading the Signals

My cold’s been looming, I even saw it coming. Any fool knows that limited sleep, and a dearth of proper nourishment, coupled with drastic changes in weather, is a recipe for disaster. But when you have to move as fast as I do, as often as I’ve found myself doing lately, you have the potential lose sight of that in the bigger picture. By the time I began to notice and tried to treat the symptoms the damage had already been done.



The triage station I waited in at the Hospital in Denmark (November, 2006).

While at home, I know I lost myself the familiarity of being at home, doted on and cared for. And for a second, it made me forget that without health insurance I’ve managed colds previously – and alone. That doing so didn’t require much cold medicine, if any at all. What it did require: mostly a combination of hot liquids (tea, soup) and a lot of rest. All of these things I know. They are things the ‘medicine woman’ reminded me, and frankly, they're a popularly recognized as a way to ward off colds! [In Denmark, at the hospital that I visited (for free, courtesy of my student visa) I was met with quite the same advice for symptoms worse than what I was experiencing recently: drink tea, rest and maybe take (the Danish equivalent for) Motrin for the pain.]

Given the US government's track record I can understand why some would think twice about a "public" option - and for a variety of reasons. There's likely some skepticism that rather than act like the "good guy" in this case, this is another opportunity for our government to take advantage of its citizens. Maybe a few more details can soothe the cynic in all of us.

Over the last year, I have listened for hours on end as my modern ‘medicine woman’ eplxains to me that by maintaining balance in my daily life - from what I eat to how often I sleep, how much exercise I am getting – my body can healthfully regulate itself. I just have to do my best not to hinder that process. She credits her study of Ma'at , Ayurveda ad ancient Kemetic teachings for what she knows about health and our bodies. She's also in amazing shape and health compared to most of our peers.

And as for my doctors? To my recollection, none of them looked as healthy as she, but they all do seemed to have a better sense of how to care for themselves than most people I encounter. Which begs the question "Maybe we're attacking this from the wrong angle? What does this say about "education" and other support systems that should promote good health?"

How well do you take care of your body?

Do you have a balanced diet? Do you exercise regularly?

What do you want to see come from this health care reform effort?

What is your perspective on the importance of having a public option, or not?



For More Information on: The Full Plan for Health Insurance Reform, HSAs, HRAs

I wanted to finish this in time supposed to submit it for the YM Blog-A-Thon. But since I missed out, here are a few I really liked of those who got theirs in on time.

YM Blog-a-Thon: Private Health Care -- a Public Nightmare (By Nick Lee)

YM Blog-a-Thon: Even when you think you can afford health care you can't (By Grace Garner)

YM Blog-a-Thon: WEALTHCare Reform & Profound Disappointment (By Colin Ehara)


8.27.2009

On NPR: "Tell Me More [About BUTCH Voices]"

I'm so long overdue for a blog... But I've got a good excuse ;)

So many things have been going on at the same time this summer. I've been ramping up efforts to promote my social networking site for masculine identified women and transmen, The Definition, while juggling work responsibilities, promoting amazing movies like Pariah and a bunch of other things as they come. In the midst of it all, I've been trying to make sure to juggle all of that in addition to my responsibilities as the Logistics Chair for the first ever BUTCH Voices Conference.

Someone at NPR got wind of our conference and reached out Tuesday to schedule an interview. And as has been the case throughout this journey, Conference Chair Joe LeBlanc and I connected with them remotely, (as Joe is now back in his hometown of Tacoma, I'm here in the Bay, and our host was presumably calling out of Washington, DC) to talk about the experience and to give a little more insight on why we committed ourselves to this work.


Joe LeBlanc & Krys "bLaKtivist" Freeman on

"Tell Me More": A Conference for Butches

Thursday August 27, 2009















I'm still processing it all, searching for the right words to express what this process has meant to me. I can say that working on this conference has been quite the lesson, but all of the work we did seems to have been well worth it, given the overwhelming response we've gotten from the attendees. Coming away from the experience, I can say that I have worked on this with of some of the most amazing people I've encountered to date (some of them are pictured above - from left to right Mary Stockton, Wolf Painter, Q. Ragsdale & Joe LeBlanc). For first timers, I think we did well!

Would love to hear your comments, questions or thoughts about the interview!

6.11.2009

I am a "PARIAH": Through Film Dee Rees Tells My Story, Our Stories

As the lights went up, more the year ago, I sat in the balcony of the Egyptian theatre, with Kai - my twin, sobbing uncontrollably and only marginally concerned with who might be watching. For any of you who know me very well, that's not normal. I'd sooner hide my face behind a soaked cotton t-shirt than let anyone see me publicly cry. But I was at an the OUTFEST Los Angeles screening of "Pariah," a film, by Dee Rees. Even as a short, it hit so close to home it brought me back to some of the most diffcult portions of my teenage years.

I went to OUTFEST particularly to see this film. And nearly 2 years later just watching this trailer makes me well up from the memories. The story of this young woman is almost parallel to my OWN - not just a young woman, but a young queer/les bLaK woman struggling to get a stranglehold on a sense of self, that even now I have to sometimes fight myself to muster. And it awakens some of that deep seated hurt that have yet to fully heal, because we still live in a world where our civil liberties are up for popular vote. And where I struggle almost daily to put together the right words to plead a case so logically sound that I can't be rebutted by uncritical and unthoughtful analysis, often taken as common sense truth.

I'm not asking you to vote for this piece if you don't find it compelling, but I'm almost certain that something about it IS. On its own merits, the production is phenomenal, the writing is realistic and the scenario is ALL too familiar to me and many of you.

But I want to ask you consider giving this piece the 2 mins worth of viewing.



If you like it give it 5 stars.

If you think this is a story worth being told, PLEASE repost this note, tag anyone you think might be touched by it.

If not on facebook on your blog, on craigslist, downelink, myspace, any and everywhere.

Below you can find a thoughtful message I was forwarded, that the filmmaker wrote to a professor seeking support as well.

-Krys

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My name is Dee Rees, and I’m a 2008 Sundance Directing lab fellow. I’m writing/directing a coming-of-age film about a black, lesbian teenager called PARIAH. PARIAH seeks to personalize the struggles of gay/lesbian youth of color in such a way that evokes empathy, opens doors to communication, and promotes dialogue within families. The short film of the same title screened at the 2008 Sundance Film Festival and has won numerous festival awards both domestically and abroad.

I’m reaching out to you because PARIAH is a semi-finalist in the Netflix FIND Your Voice Competition, but it’s a very close race and I could really use your organization’s support in order to raise awareness for the project. PARIAH is the only African-American, gay project in the running and we really need voices across all communities to show the film industry that we want to see this story and more stories like this represented onscreen.

We were hoping that you could please support us by announcing the news in your Women’s/Gender Studies departmental communications; forwarding this message to your student listserv; and by encouraging your peers to visit www.netflixfindyourvoice.com to vote for our trailer .

Only the top 5 projects in this round move on, and we’re currently in 6th place and hanging on by a thread... Our goal is to get 10,000 stars, so any support you could lend us in getting this out to the broader academic community would be amazing.

Please find below a link to the film’s website where you can learn more about myself and the project’s history.

Thanks so much for your support— I believe that this film is a very important story that needs to be told and would be extremely grateful for any help you could lend!


Warmest,

Dee
Writer/Director “PARIAH”
www.pariahthemovie.com

323/544-1499

3.29.2009

The Little Transmasculine Identity, THAT COULD

This post is my response to a group of folks I was working with on a conference. We got into a heated email discussion about the target audience, which for some should be exclusive to female born, woman identified, masculine persons only; rather than all those who fit under a transmaculine umbrella.

Once again I find myself disappointed by the way uncritical analysis rears it's ugly head in tough situations. And more encouraged to make my effort to affirm no only trans identities, but also to advocate for the space for us to critically assess how how we essentialize ALL identities, and perhaps do so along the very binary we wish to escape. THIS IS NOT PROGRESSIVE.

My email begins here:

-----------------------------
Note: Since writing this many more have replied, but I spent my commute addressing this because I feel like I needed to clarify a few things).

Cristy,
Thank you much for your thoughts here. I believe we are in agreement on several things as well:

- "male is sex, man is gender"

- "many queer communities have shunned and shamed the woman-identified butches-by forcing male pronouns on us [...] by questioning our masculinity because we still like our female bodies and don't want to change them

- "female masculinity is far more transgressive in our culture than [m]any other variet[ies] of masculinity"

Where possible I try to avoid quantifying oppression, as it leads nowhere fast. So I have to disagree w/ this statement more generally: "I don't think transmasculine or FTM identities are as marginalized as woman-identified butches." - even if I perhaps sort of agree w/ the premise of it within the confines of the particular group you later specify.

Masculine women that we are, while marginalized by society, we exist in a place of privilege when it comes to transmen- in that we still identify with our female born bodies. And though suffering from discrimination, we still can counter charges of "wanting to be men" (because of how we are perceived) with "No, I'm very clear & comfortable with my masculine woman self." FTMS do not have that same ability.

I don't think it fair or considerate to disregard what is their understanding of themselves, even as womanists/feminists - even if we can see places where it may not be what we think it should. Because while we may affirm our womanhood and equal right to many things afforded men, that is not in a vacuum. Womanism/feminism shouldn't be a blind lobby for women but a critical one.

Further, I believe it is through those critical perspectives womanism/feminism (I am a womanist) that we might be able to liberate transmasculine identities (stud, butch, ag, ftm, dom, daddi, top etc), transgender, transsexual and other identities from the snaky claws of essentialism that proliferate. This is perhaps especially important if we want to combat the shaming and pronoun forcing you mention.

So in saying that, I too know what you mean about being shamed for embracing what has become a somehow "inauthentic" version of stud-ness or boi-ishness, and in some trans affirming spaces for being "she" instead of "he." That is very real and need be addressed.

But I don't think that precludes us from being able to think, process or exist outside or beyond how others may self identify or devalue how we identify. That's their issue, not yours or mine.

We also may differ in how we use transmasculine. For me it is not interchangeable with FTM or transman. It is instead an umbrella term for all masculine identified people. Perhaps I should consider panmasculine, but I only do this because I grow tired of:

1. Feeling somewhat left out because I am not fond of terms like butch or aggressive that carry on connotations that, while meant to describe my appearance, poorly encapsulate my person.

And 2. Feeling like I have to write a list of names to describe the ppl I mean while not wanting to make them feel the same way that I do as mentioned above.

It goes farther in terms of wanting dialogue around "transgender" to broaden because if "male is sex," most people misunderstand the differences between transgender and transsexual. But thats a larger conversation.

When it comes to gender, Joe and I are of the same mind that gender can be anything you make it. Sex is mush less varied, you are born male, female or intersex.

So perhaps we also disagree there too Cristy, but I do so respectfully and in hopes that we might through this exchange develop a better understanding of one another. I have no investment in antagonism with anyone.

Going forward I hope that the same enthusiasm btwn the few of us on this email thread will transfer into the energy to help Joe get this thing going.

Wishing Ya'll The Best,

Krys

-----------------------------

Needless to say, more emails have been exchanged, and none of them really address the questions I raise, except ofcourse from the person who is spearheading the event.

Just more of the same
"This is my opinion."
As if your opinion meant you were absolved of critique?

"There are conferences for trans people."
So WHAT?! Let us not forget that conferences like these exist to help build community sometimes where it seems NON exists.

"This is a space for us."
Who is us, and why is it important to continue on a trajectory of drawing needless lines in the sand, when we can evolve instead?

I feel like we have to know ourselves to grow, and I only think there are opportunities for learning and growth that come from looking at masculine identity acroos a WIDE spectrum.

Here are a few CHOICE quotes:
"By tacking on all of these various male identities you are erasing female and woman-identified butches. I am completely fed up with female and woman butch identities being minimized"

"If they don't like or get it.......it's not my problem. I don't want inclusive language for every spectrum of the masculine/male. I want inclusive language for every spectrum that is of female/woman. "

"I thought this was about butch female/woman identity. We are a dying breed. I thought this Conference was about showing those coming up about other ways to be butch than on a scale of male pronuns, chopping tits, growing a beard and muscles due to hormone replacement."

As if it werent' enough that many in the hetero-normative world didn't already stigmatize trans as well as gay or lesbian people, here we are stigmatizing each other. My heart HURTS.

2.23.2009

HIV: We're Not Taking it Lying Down

The "HIV: We're Not Taking it Lying Down" campaign has a multi-layered message which speaks to the strength and empowerment of women, while recognizing the realities of women's lives including trauma, stigma and injustice. It gives voice to women's impatience with public complacency regarding the impact of HIV on women of color.

Visit the folks at GMHC to learn more.